For Four yeards of my life in the 1990’s were spent trapped in a cult. It took a Country singer Terri Clark to have made me realized that I was in a Cult and needed to get out; just by how she said something on CMT in August 1998. I immediately looked for another church; a real church to Worship in. While looking through the Yellow Pages; I kept getting lead to check out the Church of the Resurrection.  As soon as I first walked through their doors for the first time, I literally felt and heard the chains come off of my wrists and feet. I felt a slight jerk forward from being set free. In that instance, I thought of the story of Paul in the Bible of when he was a prisoner. I was redeemed from the evilness of the bad ways of Worshipping God.

 

In recent years, my emotions started to get out of hand. I am now working on them through counseling, Celebrate Recovery, and other things. My anger can get the best of me, and attack those around me that doesn’t deserve it. Such people as my mentor, family, church family, and among others. My depression has also taken over me at times. Sometimes I have thoughts of suicide. a couple times in my life I’ve attempted suicide.  I am also struggling with codependency, prescription drug addiction, sometimes alcohol addiction, former porn addict, and so many more which I am trying to figure out.  Being vulnerable can be a way to get over deep hurts, thoughts, and so many more.  I am now letting myself to feel vulnerable by letting others see what I had, am, and will go through in my life’s journey.

 

I am blessed to have Christian friends/family surrond me with love, support, concerns, etc. I am allowing them into my vulnerability slowly. They stood by me, and sometimes behimd me even during those times of anger and depression. They never stopped loving me.   be

 

I am working on being redeemed once again. I have ways to go, but it’s closer each day when I work on self. It may be worth the wait. When I die; I would want to spend eternity with the Father Almighty. I need to be more like him.  I would like to have a Spiritual Coach, whom can help in the spiritual part of my life.