It Doesn’t Matter Anymore

I was once a believer in Christ, but it doesn’t matter anymore to me. I lost my belief, because of these so=called Christians who keep preaching “forgive & forget” & “love others unconditionally as Jesus did”. How can these people keep preaching that to me, when they can’t forgive & forget any of my past mistakes. They have to set up these so-called boundaries or block me from contacting them, but yet they still claim that we are friends? Yeah okay. It’s just a way to tell me to go elsewhere and leave them alone.

Just say what you really mean instead of hiding behind “healthy boundaries for your own good” or whatever. I’m only human. I make mistakes just like everyone else does.  Where are the real Christians who actually practice what they preach?  Joyce Meyers, Joel Osteen, Billy Graham, etc. are the real Christians. Yes, they do make mistakes too. But, at least they don’t shut out others.  They love others unconditionally, even if they don’t approve of their lifestyle, actions, etc. I’ve noticed in the local church how there are less and less people practicing what they preach. They quote the Bible, but yet, they still turn their backs on the ones who are struggling, like myself. Struggling to fit it. Struggling to know the Truth. Struggling with life in general. I haven’t seen what grace is like, so I can’t give it out.

It doesn’t matter anymore if I’m dead or alive. It doesn’t matter anymore if I’m a Christian or not. It doesn’t matter anymore if if I’m happy or depressed. It just doesn’t matter anymore. Depression DOES hurt. And, it’s a part of my life. I don’t know if I’ll ever be a Christian again. I’ll have to wait to see if a real Christian comes along.

 

 

 

I Am Redeemed

For Four yeards of my life in the 1990’s were spent trapped in a cult. It took a Country singer Terri Clark to have made me realized that I was in a Cult and needed to get out; just by how she said something on CMT in August 1998. I immediately looked for another church; a real church to Worship in. While looking through the Yellow Pages; I kept getting lead to check out the Church of the Resurrection.  As soon as I first walked through their doors for the first time, I literally felt and heard the chains come off of my wrists and feet. I felt a slight jerk forward from being set free. In that instance, I thought of the story of Paul in the Bible of when he was a prisoner. I was redeemed from the evilness of the bad ways of Worshipping God.

 

In recent years, my emotions started to get out of hand. I am now working on them through counseling, Celebrate Recovery, and other things. My anger can get the best of me, and attack those around me that doesn’t deserve it. Such people as my mentor, family, church family, and among others. My depression has also taken over me at times. Sometimes I have thoughts of suicide. a couple times in my life I’ve attempted suicide.  I am also struggling with codependency, prescription drug addiction, sometimes alcohol addiction, former porn addict, and so many more which I am trying to figure out.  Being vulnerable can be a way to get over deep hurts, thoughts, and so many more.  I am now letting myself to feel vulnerable by letting others see what I had, am, and will go through in my life’s journey.

 

I am blessed to have Christian friends/family surrond me with love, support, concerns, etc. I am allowing them into my vulnerability slowly. They stood by me, and sometimes behimd me even during those times of anger and depression. They never stopped loving me.   be

 

I am working on being redeemed once again. I have ways to go, but it’s closer each day when I work on self. It may be worth the wait. When I die; I would want to spend eternity with the Father Almighty. I need to be more like him.  I would like to have a Spiritual Coach, whom can help in the spiritual part of my life.

GoGirl Headbands

Kathleen Dall is the creator behind GoGirl Headbands. She makes the most beautiful and perfect headbands for different types of headband wearers. These headbands are great quality, and made with lots of love. You should check out these awesome headbands, and please order some. The Holidaays are just around the corner. They will make great stocking stuffers for the girls and women. Headbands are totally in style.

Please visit her website at www.gogirlheadbands.com You can also find GoGirl on Facebooke as well.

 

 

 

 

Avon Calling

After years of avoiding Avon products and representatives; I’ve decided to try them out. Their lotions are really good, which I find to be better than any lotion bought at any stores. I may nor wear makeup, but I do buy other products, such as lip balm, Snoopy items(when they have them), hand lotions, and other household items when they have them. Right now, they have “Frozen” items for children. Avon really stays up-to-date on their products.  With all this; I’ve caved in and became an Avon Representative.

 

I’m really starting to enjoy being a Rep for Avon, even though I just started working for this company. I can now keep up with the latest fashion, products, etc. Plus, I can inform friends, family, and new customers of any sales that may be going on, such as the sale that’s going on right now. 30% off your total purchase.

 

The best part of baing a Rep. I can have my customers from all over order from my eStore, and they can have their items shipped directly to their home.

 

If interested in purchasing Avon products, ten please go to my website @ http://www.youravon.com/rosanneleone

 

Christmas/Hannukka is just around the corner. Avon is one of the best places to buy gifts.

 

Thank you.

Bullies Should Be Put On The Frontline

Put all the bullies on the frontline of combat. Let’s see how they deal with being the main target of humility. People who live on hurting others by physical, mental, emotional, or by any other means, are justa total loser. How would you feel if someone did the same exact thing to you, if you were that person?

It makes people more vulnerable when others point out the obvious, and have to keep humiliate them for it.  If you can’t get to know the person, and why they are the way they are before bullying them, then keep your mouth shut.  No one needs your bullshit. Get a life, and leave others out of your misery.

 

Just sayin’……..

If I Have Gay Children: Four Promises From A Christian Pastor/Parent

john pavlovitz

Sometimes I wonder if I’ll have gay children.

I’m not sure if other parents think about this, but I do; quite often.

Maybe it’s because I have many gay people in my family and circle of friends. It’s in my genes and in my tribe.
Maybe it’s because, as a pastor of students, I’ve seen and heard the horror stories of gay Christian kids, from both inside and outside of the closet, trying to be part of the Church.
Maybe it’s because, as a Christian, I interact with so many people who find homosexuality to be the most repulsive thing imaginable, and who make that abundantly clear at every conceivable opportunity.

For whatever reason, it’s something that I ponder frequently. As a pastor and a parent, I wanted to make some promises to you, and to my two kids right now…

1) If I have gay children, you’ll all know it.

My children won’t…

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The Electronic Age

The Electronic Age.

The Electronic Age

We are living in a world where electronics runs our lives. Whatever happened to the good ole days whee people use landlines or meet face to face to talk? Now a days, people avoid verbal communications to avoid conflicts, out of laziness, being uncomfortable, too embarrassed, or whatever the case may be. It is also being disrespectful to the other person by using emails, texting, face booking, tweeting, etc. to communicate problems or other important issues.

When I was growing up in the ’70’s, ’80’s, and ’90’s; there wasn’t all these electronic gadgets that we have now. If I wanted/needed to talk to someone, then I either had to call them using the house phone, physically appear i before them, or snail mail a letter. This was how communications was great versus now. Back then, there was hardly any misunderstandings/miscommunication, because people verbally talked it out with each other. The world relies too much on hiding behind their computers, cellphones, and what not just to avoid that conflict, uneasiness, embarrassment, or just being lazy.

People wonder why there are more anger in the world today. It all comes down to lack of verbal communications, respect towards one another, honesty, loyalty, and amount other positive things. It won’t hurt you to vocalize your feelings to the person to whom you have a problem with. It’ll hurt you and the other person more in the long run if you avoid thee problem, or send an electronic message. Electronic messages will lead to a lot more problems. It’ll ruin relationships.

The Biggest Gift

The church that I am a member of raised $143,000 to help the Rescue Mission. This was part of The Biggest Gift at Christmas. Check out the story from the local newspaper.

http://www.syracuse.com/news/index.ssf/2014/01/manlius_church_gives_143000_christmas_gift_to_rescue_mission.html#incart_m-rpt-2

Depression Hurts

I have been battling depression on and off most of my life. The depression has varied over the years. This time it has seen it’s worse. This time around, anger has played a major role. Plus, it doesn’t help me feel better when people tell me to call 911 whenever I feel at my lowest. That just makes me feel even worse, because it tells me that they don’t want to be bothered to talk, share stories, pray, or just be there and maybe have a cup of coffee or something. It’s all because they say that they are not professionals. You don’t have to be a professional to help out a friend, if you say that you are a friend. To me, a friend is a lot better than going to a stranger who is there to say whether or not you are crazy and need to be on meds. When someone tries to attempt suicide by over dosing on prescription meds, then being put on more meds for the depression will only allow a person to have the okay from the professionals to OD on more meds. That is exactly how I have been feeling lately.

 

Advice on how to help a friend in this kind of situation: Be there for them and don’t push them away by telling them to go seek help somewhere else. If you are a true friend, then you would make the time to go over to wherever they are and be with them. Try to make them laugh. Share any experiences that you may have had, give them a hug, share coffee or whatever with them, pray with them. Just be a REAL friend. You don’t need to be a professional to help them through deep depression, suicidal thoughts, or suicidal attempts. What would you do if they end up dead from suicide, and you weren’t there for them when they needed a friend? How would you feel knowing that you didn’t take the time to call, visit, or send a message?